This was part of a letter from Russian pastor that Will just translated. It's funny, but also a sad commentary on life in Russia:
Maybe you know (and maybe you don’t), that the Russian people are great lovers of any and every holiday that comes their way, as well as any other excuse to ‘have a good time.’ Therefore, our winter holidays are a big deal, and everybody gets a lot of time off work. (New Years is the biggest holiday of the year here in Russia, and then Christmas, which is still considered more a church holiday is on January 7th.) These winter holidays last from the 1st-15th of January. Practically the whole nation is on winter break, I guess you could say!
One day during the winter holidays this year, a traffic officer pulled me over as I was driving in town. He asked to see my documents, and I complied, of course. He was looking at me so intently and suspiciously that I finally asked what I had done to to make myself so interesting to him. At this, he asked me to please come with him to his police car. Once I was inside the car, he got out a special tester to check if I had been drinking alcohol. I told him right away that this was a pointless exercise because since the time that I began going to church, I haven't had anything to do with alcohol in any form. He didn't believe me.
His tester was different than others I have seen, and he made sure to inform me that this was the most updated, modified latest model tester of its kind. He said it was so sensitive that it could detect any level of alcohol even down to microns! (However, he also assured me that it was set to the acceptable legal level of alcohol content.) Well, I went ahead and blew into this gadget of his, and it showed 4 zeros.
The traffic officer just looked at me and said, "Are you sick, or what?" "No," I answered, "what would make you think I'm sick?" "Well, it's just the first time I've ever seen 4 zeros like that, and I've used these testers all over Russia!" Then of course, I had a great opportunity to explain to him how Jesus had changed my life and how I lived a healthy and sober way of life now. This took place on January 2nd, and there was barely anyone out of doors at all, much less people driving around in cars. The whole nation was still drunk or hung over, and even this traffic officer's own breath reeked of alcohol.
Can you imagine never having found a completely alcohol-free driver?!?